I should be in bed. A day full of good food, good company, and finally good weather. Lilia ran herself silly with cousins and friends outdoors and fell asleep on the way home. Thankfully, she still went to bed at a relatively early time and as per usual I laid down with her till she fell asleep. Only, I think I fell asleep first. Two and a half hours later I woke in a daze. That sort of I'm going to throw up cause I'm so tired daze, but still have drops to give, dishes to do, a shot to take. ugh. I wanted to update the books I write in for them, but I didn't want to just scribble something quickly.
And then I did my nightly ritual of seeing if any blogs I followed were updated. And of course, one of them was. The one about a baby girl just one week younger than Nicole who was lost to SIDS at 4 months of age. I don't know why I read about it. Maybe I feel somewhat connected because Nicole is just the same age. Maybe to know that no matter how hard things have been I still have my baby girl.
And of course from that blog didn't I find the blog about a baby who lost it's life the first day home, and from there the one about the man who blogged about the happiness he felt that his wife was pregnant after many fertility issues. Except that she'd passed away in a car accident, along with the baby who lived for 3 days. I. have.to.stop. As great as the internet is, connecting the world....it also reminds us of all the pain and suffering surrounding us.
I had a wonderful Mother's Day. But many people didn't. I pray that some of their sorrow is lessened. I pray for those women who long to hold a baby and I pray for those women who have held and lost their babies. And I pray for their families cause everyone feels the pain. And I pray that I remember in times of exhaustion and frustration that it is a priviledge and an unbelievable blessing to have my two baby girls. And now it is very late and soon enough my two baby girls will be stirring....
